I think I need some space. Maybe I don't. But I also think I need to get to the root of the problem and in my mind, I know what the problem is. At least I think so. Yeah, there has been a lot of thinking going on..
A part of me is telling me to fight, but I know better that it is only going to increase tension and frustration. So no to that. Another part of me is telling me to just let it go. Move on.. But I know for certain that problems don't go away that easily. One day it will come back and it will be much worse than it already is. And the other part of me is saying I know myself and I know what I want and in order to get what I want, I need to set things straight. I need to lay everything out in the open so that a certain degree of understanding could be reach. That is exactly what I want. Understanding. I thought I understood, but I guess I was wrong. I have mistaken. I am at fault. Though it is not fair for me to burden myself with all the blame.. I know I am not the only one who have mistaken someone for somebody else. I never expect anything more than respect, understanding and love from anybody yet it still is difficult to receive all 3. Should I lower my expectations? Should I keep trying? Or should I do what I always do.. Walk away.
I don't intend to perform the latter as it will crush me like ice cubes in a snow cone machine.
I know what I need to do but I just want some time to reflect on everything. One night perhaps. I know these things happen all the time so I am going to keep my head up high and have faith in whatever that is best for me. For us.
11:52 PM